April 17, 2009

Today was a little crazy. Two surprises came. First - my companion! Elder Rushing was supposed to come tomorrow but he surprised us today. He's great - he will catch up just fine. He is also from Hawaii. So in our room we have 2 white boys and 2 Hawaiians. The second thing that was unexpected is the weirdest thing - I was brushing my teeth this morning and I turned my head to look in the mirror and my neck cracked and popped and it was not good. So now I can't turn my head a certain way or a sharp pain like none other shoots up my neck. I went to the BYU health center (off the MTC campus! Ooooo!) and the Doc. said it could ahve been  muscle spasm, and could have messed up some muscles/ligaments. So he sent me to physical therapy, but they had gone home for the night, so if it keeps hurting, the next time they are open is on Monday. But I will be O.K., hopefully my neck is healed by then. So today was another great day at the MTC. The spirit is great but I have been having doubts. Doubts about my testimony. I don't want to fake that I know that this gospel is true. I want to know! Without a doubt. When I testify of the true gospel, I want to testify with power and conviction. Today during our evening class I was doubting and fearing and I didn't feel good. I was fighting what was being taught. It didn't feel good. Then part of the class tonight was to break off as companionships and go into separate rooms. Then 2 missionaries (comps.) came in and taught me and my companion. The 2 Elders that were teaching have been here for about 2 1/2 weeks and will be leaving for the field soon. They asked how we liked the MTC and about our worries/concerns. I told them about my worries, and they taught and testified with the spirit. I felt a lot better. As they taught I felt like the words were exactly for me. It wasn't a huge feeling, but I felt better than I did before. I am going to keep being as obedient as I can, and have faith and try hard. I believe the Lord will bless me.